Man, it's been a while since I've played me some Pokemon. I've sort of fallen out of playing competitively and I could get back into it but that sounds harrrrrrrrrrd. The longer you've been out, the more research you have to do to get back in. Especially since I've sort of been gone for the formative part of this metagame. I've made a few half-hearted attempts at the Battle Subway, but honestly, it's too monotonous on its own for me to get past how PISSED OFF it makes me. I could be battling casually, but I don't usually get access to wifi. You know what would be really cool? A fifth generation console game! We could really use one of those! I mean, we already got our first handhelds, and we got some shitty spinoffs. Man, with a current gen console game, I could go online and battle casually with my 'new' game without having to dick around with wifi! Maybe it could even be good, unlike PBR! (Coming next time if I remember: PBR SUCKS)
Well, let's just look on Bulbanews here and see what's WHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT??? What is this now? NEW GAMES? And they're... Not Grey. No console game huh? Well fuck you too then Nintendo. I know you'd wanna make it for the WiiU, but it's not like that's not coming out soon. You could still announce it. You know. If that were a priority.
Well anyway, this is certainly a surprise. Pokemon, we were expecting a Grey! SINCE WHEN DO YOU BREAK TRADITION? It's a strange new world and ANYTHING is possible now. We get Black 2 and White 2 instead, implying maybe something more like direct sequels! Is that perhaps what is going to happen? Is Pokemon going to become a franchise with a legitimate story and DIFFERENT gameplay? Or are they in fact just going to start producing EVEN MORE standard games with the same plot from now on? My money's on the latter. Expect it to be just like the old third game in the series, but now there's TWO of them. GOTTA COLLECT 'EM ALL RITE GUYS? And then there'll be Ruby and Sapphire remakes and, dare I be so bold, Emerald, Grey and perhaps even Grey 2! Plenty of gravy on this train!
Seriously though, this was the first generation I actually bought both of the starting games and you pull this shit? I'm not doing it again unless you make it worth my while. Which you almost certainly will with different move tutors in each game or some bullshit to get at my money. I can't even complain, since I'm gonna be the one supporting this behavior by buying it, despite my bitching. Well, here's hoping they're fun and maybe change up the metagame so dramatically that it doesn't matter that I haven't been keeping up with things.
Oh yeah, I guess they announced Meloetta too. Whaddaya know.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
AWWWW SHIT YEA DREAM WORLD
Ok so basically the new Spooky Manor did everything I wanted and more. Not only did it give me both of the Pokemon I wanted, it gave me a few more gems, and also some neat little opportunities for stupid gimmicks, which I ABSOLUTELY ADORE. Why play the game correctly, amirite? I'm right. And it's available internationally wooooo! Anyway, I'm just gonna go down a few Pokemon of note here in the order in which they are listed on Bulbapedia, because I'm seriously too lazy to think of a way to organize this myself.
Ok, so the first thing of note on this list is Meowth. Yes, Meowth's ability (Unnerve) is SUCKTASTIC. But you can get the move Hypnosis on it here. Ok ok sure maybe Meowth could already have Hypnosis. But only by breeding. And since I'm EXTRAORDINARILY LAZY, I can now just get a male off of the Dream World instead of going through all that TROUBLE to BREED things. Makes life SO much easier. Which leaves me more time to sit around until I turn into a slime mold.
Second Pokemon of note: ABRA. FUCK YEAH FUCKIN MAGIC GUARD ABRA IN THIS BITCH. So happy. Alakazam is a Pokemon who really appreciates this ability. Ok, pretty much any Pokemon would, but Inner Focus seriously? What even is that? This is much better. Now Alakazam can fear priority just that much less (since it can't take an unresisted hit anyway) when using Life Orb. Additionally, you could run a FOCUS SASH in a non-lead position. Entry hazards shmentry hazards. I love focus sashes and always think it's too bad that they SUCK. And here we are with an opportunity to LEGITIMATELY use one. Awesome.
IT'S MIME TIME! Yes ok Technician isn't really all that abusable on Mr. Mime, but you know what? I don't even care. He can still use it to boost Magical Leaf, Charge Beam and Icy Wind, and while Mr. Mime may be a Pokemon who is a hell of a lot more about support moves than dealing damage, I don't even give an ass. I smell a stupid outclassed gimmick set, and that makes me moist.
FUCK YEAH SNIPER ARIADOS FUCK YEAH SNIPER ARIADOS
Next up is Misdreavus. I was makin all those jokes about worthless Dream World additions when I first heard this was gonna be there, but I've changed my tune now that I see it gets INFERNO. Seriously, what a badass move. I've been looking for excuses to use this anywhere I can. And one of my top ideas right now is on Mismagius. With Gravity support, Mismagius can run Inferno at 83% accuracy and also abuse Thunder, which, along with Shadow Ball, gets you some really nice general coverage and especially some nice coverage against standard bulky types. Unfortunately, Mismagius can't use its egg moves with Inferno, so no Nasty Plot, but it can still Calm Mind up, Taunt, Destiny Bond, or I guess just Energy Ball to fill out coverage against bitches like Quagsire who laugh at Calm Mind and can only be neutrally hit by Shadow Ball. Whatever you think fits best.
Oh yeah Smeargle. Available by things that aren't a Japanese exclusive event. Now the only guy from that stupid Pokemon Cafe thing that is both worthwhile and not available to everyone is a breedable Eevee. Also, we now have three of the four fully evolved Moody users to dick around with people. Shit yeah, there's nothing I love more than being a DICK.
Smoochum is out which means I can use Dry Skin Jynx which means I can be even better about making a Tyra Sanchez Pokemon now. She holds a Flame Orb. Because she burns herself. Olololol.
Ralts with Telepathy. Could be interesting I guess. Since Gardevoir gets Heal Pulse now, this could be a decent doubles supporter. Worth looking into.
SABLEYE. OH YES. I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS FOR SO LONG YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW. Man, Sableye with Prankster has so many legitimate uses for disruption with access to Taunt, Will-O-Wisp and Recover. And Sucker Punch and Fake Out. But what I'm most excited about is the ability to run an AWESOME gimmick set that is ENTIRELY luck based, which I will have to go into more detail about next update. Murkrow can do it too, but now that both of these guys are here, it REALLY needs a little analysis. Sweeeeeeeeeeeet.
I. Fuckin. Love Mawile. Mawile is like one of the most adorable Pokemon ever. And Sheer Force? Neat ability bro. Considering the vast majority of its useable movepool is affected. Like Iron Head, Crunch, Rock Slide and all the fangs. That's some fuckin coverage right there. And now I hear it can still have Ice Punch with this ability (although it has to give up on its other lovely fangs). Amazing. Though we'll still have to wait for move tutors if we want Thunderpunch. Yeah, I know Mawile sucks but I don't even care we are best pals for life I would write a song about it if I had any talents whatsoever.
Volbeat and Illumise. Prankster is amazing and is one of the most amazing abusable abilities EVER. The more of these I get the better. Also, a reason to ever use Volbeat and Illumise! Because it's not like anyone was going to even remember that these guys existed, much less use them. Bugs man, amirite?
Ok so finally Shuppet. Yeah ok so they also released that event Banette which was female but you know what? That shit was only available to people from the US or Japan. So if you were for example totally not respectable and decided to list your location as Cameroon, then APPARENTLY the option to get this guy doesn't show up even though you are logging in from the US. Fuck that shit. Whatever, I can still get my Cursed Body Banette. So you can take your event Banette and SHUPPET! Geddit? Haha I'm retarded.
So basically, as soon as the dumbass Dream World decides to actually give me any females at all, I'll be rollin in the Pokemon. Bitchin.
Ok, so the first thing of note on this list is Meowth. Yes, Meowth's ability (Unnerve) is SUCKTASTIC. But you can get the move Hypnosis on it here. Ok ok sure maybe Meowth could already have Hypnosis. But only by breeding. And since I'm EXTRAORDINARILY LAZY, I can now just get a male off of the Dream World instead of going through all that TROUBLE to BREED things. Makes life SO much easier. Which leaves me more time to sit around until I turn into a slime mold.
Second Pokemon of note: ABRA. FUCK YEAH FUCKIN MAGIC GUARD ABRA IN THIS BITCH. So happy. Alakazam is a Pokemon who really appreciates this ability. Ok, pretty much any Pokemon would, but Inner Focus seriously? What even is that? This is much better. Now Alakazam can fear priority just that much less (since it can't take an unresisted hit anyway) when using Life Orb. Additionally, you could run a FOCUS SASH in a non-lead position. Entry hazards shmentry hazards. I love focus sashes and always think it's too bad that they SUCK. And here we are with an opportunity to LEGITIMATELY use one. Awesome.
IT'S MIME TIME! Yes ok Technician isn't really all that abusable on Mr. Mime, but you know what? I don't even care. He can still use it to boost Magical Leaf, Charge Beam and Icy Wind, and while Mr. Mime may be a Pokemon who is a hell of a lot more about support moves than dealing damage, I don't even give an ass. I smell a stupid outclassed gimmick set, and that makes me moist.
FUCK YEAH SNIPER ARIADOS FUCK YEAH SNIPER ARIADOS
Next up is Misdreavus. I was makin all those jokes about worthless Dream World additions when I first heard this was gonna be there, but I've changed my tune now that I see it gets INFERNO. Seriously, what a badass move. I've been looking for excuses to use this anywhere I can. And one of my top ideas right now is on Mismagius. With Gravity support, Mismagius can run Inferno at 83% accuracy and also abuse Thunder, which, along with Shadow Ball, gets you some really nice general coverage and especially some nice coverage against standard bulky types. Unfortunately, Mismagius can't use its egg moves with Inferno, so no Nasty Plot, but it can still Calm Mind up, Taunt, Destiny Bond, or I guess just Energy Ball to fill out coverage against bitches like Quagsire who laugh at Calm Mind and can only be neutrally hit by Shadow Ball. Whatever you think fits best.
Oh yeah Smeargle. Available by things that aren't a Japanese exclusive event. Now the only guy from that stupid Pokemon Cafe thing that is both worthwhile and not available to everyone is a breedable Eevee. Also, we now have three of the four fully evolved Moody users to dick around with people. Shit yeah, there's nothing I love more than being a DICK.
Smoochum is out which means I can use Dry Skin Jynx which means I can be even better about making a Tyra Sanchez Pokemon now. She holds a Flame Orb. Because she burns herself. Olololol.
Ralts with Telepathy. Could be interesting I guess. Since Gardevoir gets Heal Pulse now, this could be a decent doubles supporter. Worth looking into.
SABLEYE. OH YES. I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS FOR SO LONG YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW. Man, Sableye with Prankster has so many legitimate uses for disruption with access to Taunt, Will-O-Wisp and Recover. And Sucker Punch and Fake Out. But what I'm most excited about is the ability to run an AWESOME gimmick set that is ENTIRELY luck based, which I will have to go into more detail about next update. Murkrow can do it too, but now that both of these guys are here, it REALLY needs a little analysis. Sweeeeeeeeeeeet.
I. Fuckin. Love Mawile. Mawile is like one of the most adorable Pokemon ever. And Sheer Force? Neat ability bro. Considering the vast majority of its useable movepool is affected. Like Iron Head, Crunch, Rock Slide and all the fangs. That's some fuckin coverage right there. And now I hear it can still have Ice Punch with this ability (although it has to give up on its other lovely fangs). Amazing. Though we'll still have to wait for move tutors if we want Thunderpunch. Yeah, I know Mawile sucks but I don't even care we are best pals for life I would write a song about it if I had any talents whatsoever.
Volbeat and Illumise. Prankster is amazing and is one of the most amazing abusable abilities EVER. The more of these I get the better. Also, a reason to ever use Volbeat and Illumise! Because it's not like anyone was going to even remember that these guys existed, much less use them. Bugs man, amirite?
Ok so finally Shuppet. Yeah ok so they also released that event Banette which was female but you know what? That shit was only available to people from the US or Japan. So if you were for example totally not respectable and decided to list your location as Cameroon, then APPARENTLY the option to get this guy doesn't show up even though you are logging in from the US. Fuck that shit. Whatever, I can still get my Cursed Body Banette. So you can take your event Banette and SHUPPET! Geddit? Haha I'm retarded.
So basically, as soon as the dumbass Dream World decides to actually give me any females at all, I'll be rollin in the Pokemon. Bitchin.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
RMT - BATTLE SUBWAY DOUBLES
What time is it? It's RMT TIME YAY! Now I am aware that nobody reads this, but that's not gonna stop me from asking their opinions. Besides, I've been playing some hardcore Battle Subway recently and I'mma gonna talk bout it. Because that's just how I roll.
Man, the Battle Subway. Getting a streak there is all DIFFERENT and shit from winning competitively. Because you don't just have to win the majority of the time, but rather EVERY TIME IN A ROW, strategies that are weak to hax kind of fall apart. And don't y'all be givin me no BULLSHIT bout how there's more hax in the Subway. It really seems about normal to me, it's just that instead of dropping your ranking on the ladder a little bit when you lose because of it, you in fact have to START THE WHOLE GODDAM THING OVER AGAIN. SHIT. So it stands out more to the player. It's one o' them, you know, observational bias whatsits that you learn about in your first statistics class. Shit, I don't remember.
The point is, in order to get a good streak, you have to exploit the weaknesses of the computer. In singles, I did this by setting up Calm Minds on a Suicune behind a Substitute. I was protected from critical hits and status, and could abuse the fact that the AI would not switch to stop my setup. Setting up behind a sub doesn't work nearly so well in doubles, so I thought I might use a little Trick Room strategy to give myself a bit of an edge. Oh, and break the HELL out of sleep clause to REALLY fuck things up for the computer. So here's the team as it stands.
Nickname: Party Pat
Reuniclus [Magic Guard] @ Life Orb
Quiet
192 HP, 64 Def, 252 SpA
-Trick Room
-Psyshock
-Shadow Ball
-Focus Blast
So Reuniclus is a total beast. He ENDS bitches with his ridiculous power AND sets up Trick Room. I've long been considering replacing Psyshock with Psychic for more power since I have the physical power to blast through Blissey with the rest of the team. But so far I haven't had enough problems with that so I haven't bothered. After a number of test runs, he has become one of my standard leads. Get up dat Trick Room and power through. Very few things can take more than two hits, and almost nothing can OHKO. Except for Fling users. But I have my ways around that. The defensive EVs give maximum all-around bulk at level 50 (it would be 188/68, but both of my IVs are even).
Nickname: L.S.P.
Amoonguss [Effect Spore] @ Leftovers
Sassy
244 HP, 184 Def, 4 SpA, 76 SpD
-Spore
-Giga Drain
-Rage Powder
-Protect
Oh my glob, Amoonguss. You are so lumpin' great. Amoonguss has become my other lead. Either Protect to stay healthy on the first turn, or Rage Powder to absorb hits that would otherwise drop Reuniclus while he sets up. Since I can usually get in a OHKO on at LEAST one of the Pokemon I'm facing with Reuniclus, adding a fast (slow?) Spore usually means that no one can touch me once Trick Room is up. I woooouuuuuulllllld really like more coverage than just Giga Drain, but honestly, all of my other moves are just TOO IMPORTANT and Giga Drain is my next best option since I didn't bother getting a good Hidden Power. Once again, the EVs maximize bulk from both sides of the spectrum, but since my defense IV is only 30, I moved 4 EVs from there to my special attack. My main issue with Amoonguss is that her Dream World ability hasn't come out yet. Effect Spore is nice when it puts my opponents to sleep, but sometimes they get poisoned, making them immune to my Spores. AND SOMETIMES IT PARALYZES THEIR SWEEPER AND THEY TEAR THROUGH MY TEAM WITH THEIR NEW SPEED UNDER TRICK ROOM. ALL. OF MY HATE. But none of the other Sporers can replace her bulk and ability to Rage Powder, so I guess this is what I'm using for now.
Nickname: B-MO
Porygon2 [Trace] @ Eviolite
Sassy
252 HP, 196 Def, 60 SpD
-Recover
-Trick Room
-Ice Beam
-Thunderbolt
Porygon2 takes hits like a MOTHERFUCKIN BOSS. Seriously, not a single thing can 2HKO this bitch unless they hit super-effective. While it is a little bit status-weak, the fact that it is so GODDAM IMPOSSIBLE to 2HKO makes it a lot less unhappy about critical hits. Plus, it makes a nice switch-in to Ghosts who threaten Reuniclus. Particularly Chandelure, who Amoonguss can't safely Rage Powder. And if Porygon2 manages to Trace Flash Fire, it becomes immune to all of Chandy's moves. WHAT UP BITCHES. There's also a fairly common Vaporeon set that only carries Shadow Ball and Water moves which this little dicktool can become fully immune to as well. And when you factor in the number of Intimidaters, there are a lot of good switch-in opportunities for lil' B-MO that can let it change the tide of the match. That being said, Porygon2 does sit at a rather awkward speed tier (base 60) where pretty much everything faster than it is considered fast enough to potentially run speed investment and nothing slower ever does. So with Trick Room up, it's faster than all the sweepers but slower than all the walls. Also, the paralysis chance on Thunderbolt can totally screw you over sometimes. But all in all, Porygon2 is a solid choice for this team.
Nickname: Billy
Conkeldurr [Guts] @ Iron Ball
Brave
4 HP, 252 Atk, 252 SpD
-Hammer Arm
-Stone Edge
-Fling
-Protect
Conkeldurr is my other sweeper, and blasts through shit like NOBODY'S business. Similar to Reuniclus, very few things can take two hits from this guy, and quite a number fall in one. Hammer Arm over the standard Drain Punch lets me not only KO faster (to keep me safer from critical hits), but also lets me keep up with Curse users. I rarely need the speed drops for anything else though. Although Fling is a one-time use, that's a lot better when facing a team of only four Pokemon instead of six, and one that never switches either. It OHKOs pretty much everthing weak to it except for physically defensive Calm Mind Musharna, who can then be finished by other means. Plus it lets me outspeed other Pokemon carrying Iron Balls. Billy used to be my standard lead along with Reuniclus, but I found that the lack of Rage Powder meant that too often I had to switch to Pory2 on my first turn instead of setting up. Conkeldurr rounds out my anti-hax-status plan nicely, loving the power boosts that they give. And he just ADORES paralysis. Despite the fact that the opponent is supposed to know what your ability is regardless of whether it should, things seem to like to Will-O-Wisp this guy anyway. Whatever you want, Battle Subway. Whatever you want.
So that's the team as it stands NOW. However, it still hasn't been doing as well as my singles team. Part of this is probs my relative lack of experience in doubles, which makes it harder to abuse the fact that the AI is RIDICULOUSLY predictable. But another large fact, as you may have noticed by now, is that the team is rather Psychic-weak. This is a problem, because not only are a large chunk of the legendary teams you start seeing after a 30 streak Psychic types, they decided that they wanted to have AN ENTIRE TRAINER CLASS THAT ONLY USES PSYCHIC TYPES IN THERE. Conkeldurr can take out one, and only one, Psychic mon with Fling before dying. Reuniclus resists and can hit hard with Shadow Ball, but often can't break through Calm Minders with their own Shadow Ball. Amoonguss just dies, and Porygon2, bulky as it is, is not actually good enough to take out an entire opposing team all by its lonesome. So. I've started considering a potential remedy to this problem:
Scrafty [Moxie] @ Fighting Gem/Lum Berry
Brave
252 HP, 252 Atk, 4 Def
-Drain Punch/Hi Jump Kick
-Crunch
-Stone Edge/Ice Punch
-Protect/Fake Out
Dis gangsta-ass muhfucka would take the place of Conkeldurr. The idea is that with an immunity to Psychic, resistance to Ghost, and the ability to use a powerful Dark move indefinitely, Scrafty would patch up that little hole in my team. However, there are some things that make me nervous. First off, he's very status weak. One burn, and Scrafty starts to lose his luster. The only way to deal with this is to sacrifice my item for a Lum Berry, but I REALLY don't want to do that because of my other problem: he just doesn't hit as hard right off the bat. As much as Moxie is supposed to patch that up, the fact that I start at 90 base attack instead of 140 is a real killer. I rely on Conky to OHKO major threats like Hydreigon before they can start sweeping my team, and I'm just not sure I can take that extra turn or two to get strong. It doesn't help that I'm stuck with Drain Punch over Hammer Arm, unless I want to rely on Hi Jump Kick, which honestly, is just ASKING for hax to lose me the game like one in ten battles. UNACCEPTABLE. I'm considering using a Fighting Gem to try to help remedy this problem, but I'm not sure how well it would do. Anyway, I'm going to TRY breeding this guy at some point, and I'll see how it goes. Maybe he'll become a superstar, maybe he'll suck ass. There's really no way to know without trying.
So that's the doubles team. Any suggestions I might get on improving it would be AWESOME.
Man, the Battle Subway. Getting a streak there is all DIFFERENT and shit from winning competitively. Because you don't just have to win the majority of the time, but rather EVERY TIME IN A ROW, strategies that are weak to hax kind of fall apart. And don't y'all be givin me no BULLSHIT bout how there's more hax in the Subway. It really seems about normal to me, it's just that instead of dropping your ranking on the ladder a little bit when you lose because of it, you in fact have to START THE WHOLE GODDAM THING OVER AGAIN. SHIT. So it stands out more to the player. It's one o' them, you know, observational bias whatsits that you learn about in your first statistics class. Shit, I don't remember.
The point is, in order to get a good streak, you have to exploit the weaknesses of the computer. In singles, I did this by setting up Calm Minds on a Suicune behind a Substitute. I was protected from critical hits and status, and could abuse the fact that the AI would not switch to stop my setup. Setting up behind a sub doesn't work nearly so well in doubles, so I thought I might use a little Trick Room strategy to give myself a bit of an edge. Oh, and break the HELL out of sleep clause to REALLY fuck things up for the computer. So here's the team as it stands.
Nickname: Party Pat
Reuniclus [Magic Guard] @ Life Orb
Quiet
192 HP, 64 Def, 252 SpA
-Trick Room
-Psyshock
-Shadow Ball
-Focus Blast
So Reuniclus is a total beast. He ENDS bitches with his ridiculous power AND sets up Trick Room. I've long been considering replacing Psyshock with Psychic for more power since I have the physical power to blast through Blissey with the rest of the team. But so far I haven't had enough problems with that so I haven't bothered. After a number of test runs, he has become one of my standard leads. Get up dat Trick Room and power through. Very few things can take more than two hits, and almost nothing can OHKO. Except for Fling users. But I have my ways around that. The defensive EVs give maximum all-around bulk at level 50 (it would be 188/68, but both of my IVs are even).
Nickname: L.S.P.
Amoonguss [Effect Spore] @ Leftovers
Sassy
244 HP, 184 Def, 4 SpA, 76 SpD
-Spore
-Giga Drain
-Rage Powder
-Protect
Oh my glob, Amoonguss. You are so lumpin' great. Amoonguss has become my other lead. Either Protect to stay healthy on the first turn, or Rage Powder to absorb hits that would otherwise drop Reuniclus while he sets up. Since I can usually get in a OHKO on at LEAST one of the Pokemon I'm facing with Reuniclus, adding a fast (slow?) Spore usually means that no one can touch me once Trick Room is up. I woooouuuuuulllllld really like more coverage than just Giga Drain, but honestly, all of my other moves are just TOO IMPORTANT and Giga Drain is my next best option since I didn't bother getting a good Hidden Power. Once again, the EVs maximize bulk from both sides of the spectrum, but since my defense IV is only 30, I moved 4 EVs from there to my special attack. My main issue with Amoonguss is that her Dream World ability hasn't come out yet. Effect Spore is nice when it puts my opponents to sleep, but sometimes they get poisoned, making them immune to my Spores. AND SOMETIMES IT PARALYZES THEIR SWEEPER AND THEY TEAR THROUGH MY TEAM WITH THEIR NEW SPEED UNDER TRICK ROOM. ALL. OF MY HATE. But none of the other Sporers can replace her bulk and ability to Rage Powder, so I guess this is what I'm using for now.
Nickname: B-MO
Porygon2 [Trace] @ Eviolite
Sassy
252 HP, 196 Def, 60 SpD
-Recover
-Trick Room
-Ice Beam
-Thunderbolt
Porygon2 takes hits like a MOTHERFUCKIN BOSS. Seriously, not a single thing can 2HKO this bitch unless they hit super-effective. While it is a little bit status-weak, the fact that it is so GODDAM IMPOSSIBLE to 2HKO makes it a lot less unhappy about critical hits. Plus, it makes a nice switch-in to Ghosts who threaten Reuniclus. Particularly Chandelure, who Amoonguss can't safely Rage Powder. And if Porygon2 manages to Trace Flash Fire, it becomes immune to all of Chandy's moves. WHAT UP BITCHES. There's also a fairly common Vaporeon set that only carries Shadow Ball and Water moves which this little dicktool can become fully immune to as well. And when you factor in the number of Intimidaters, there are a lot of good switch-in opportunities for lil' B-MO that can let it change the tide of the match. That being said, Porygon2 does sit at a rather awkward speed tier (base 60) where pretty much everything faster than it is considered fast enough to potentially run speed investment and nothing slower ever does. So with Trick Room up, it's faster than all the sweepers but slower than all the walls. Also, the paralysis chance on Thunderbolt can totally screw you over sometimes. But all in all, Porygon2 is a solid choice for this team.
Nickname: Billy
Conkeldurr [Guts] @ Iron Ball
Brave
4 HP, 252 Atk, 252 SpD
-Hammer Arm
-Stone Edge
-Fling
-Protect
Conkeldurr is my other sweeper, and blasts through shit like NOBODY'S business. Similar to Reuniclus, very few things can take two hits from this guy, and quite a number fall in one. Hammer Arm over the standard Drain Punch lets me not only KO faster (to keep me safer from critical hits), but also lets me keep up with Curse users. I rarely need the speed drops for anything else though. Although Fling is a one-time use, that's a lot better when facing a team of only four Pokemon instead of six, and one that never switches either. It OHKOs pretty much everthing weak to it except for physically defensive Calm Mind Musharna, who can then be finished by other means. Plus it lets me outspeed other Pokemon carrying Iron Balls. Billy used to be my standard lead along with Reuniclus, but I found that the lack of Rage Powder meant that too often I had to switch to Pory2 on my first turn instead of setting up. Conkeldurr rounds out my anti-hax-status plan nicely, loving the power boosts that they give. And he just ADORES paralysis. Despite the fact that the opponent is supposed to know what your ability is regardless of whether it should, things seem to like to Will-O-Wisp this guy anyway. Whatever you want, Battle Subway. Whatever you want.
So that's the team as it stands NOW. However, it still hasn't been doing as well as my singles team. Part of this is probs my relative lack of experience in doubles, which makes it harder to abuse the fact that the AI is RIDICULOUSLY predictable. But another large fact, as you may have noticed by now, is that the team is rather Psychic-weak. This is a problem, because not only are a large chunk of the legendary teams you start seeing after a 30 streak Psychic types, they decided that they wanted to have AN ENTIRE TRAINER CLASS THAT ONLY USES PSYCHIC TYPES IN THERE. Conkeldurr can take out one, and only one, Psychic mon with Fling before dying. Reuniclus resists and can hit hard with Shadow Ball, but often can't break through Calm Minders with their own Shadow Ball. Amoonguss just dies, and Porygon2, bulky as it is, is not actually good enough to take out an entire opposing team all by its lonesome. So. I've started considering a potential remedy to this problem:
Scrafty [Moxie] @ Fighting Gem/Lum Berry
Brave
252 HP, 252 Atk, 4 Def
-Drain Punch/Hi Jump Kick
-Crunch
-Stone Edge/Ice Punch
-Protect/Fake Out
Dis gangsta-ass muhfucka would take the place of Conkeldurr. The idea is that with an immunity to Psychic, resistance to Ghost, and the ability to use a powerful Dark move indefinitely, Scrafty would patch up that little hole in my team. However, there are some things that make me nervous. First off, he's very status weak. One burn, and Scrafty starts to lose his luster. The only way to deal with this is to sacrifice my item for a Lum Berry, but I REALLY don't want to do that because of my other problem: he just doesn't hit as hard right off the bat. As much as Moxie is supposed to patch that up, the fact that I start at 90 base attack instead of 140 is a real killer. I rely on Conky to OHKO major threats like Hydreigon before they can start sweeping my team, and I'm just not sure I can take that extra turn or two to get strong. It doesn't help that I'm stuck with Drain Punch over Hammer Arm, unless I want to rely on Hi Jump Kick, which honestly, is just ASKING for hax to lose me the game like one in ten battles. UNACCEPTABLE. I'm considering using a Fighting Gem to try to help remedy this problem, but I'm not sure how well it would do. Anyway, I'm going to TRY breeding this guy at some point, and I'll see how it goes. Maybe he'll become a superstar, maybe he'll suck ass. There's really no way to know without trying.
So that's the doubles team. Any suggestions I might get on improving it would be AWESOME.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Bokemon
Ulbasaur
Bivysaur
Benusaur
Bharmander
Bharmeleon
Bharizard
Buirtle
Bartortle
Lastoise
Baterpie
Betapod
Utterfree
Beedle
Bakuna
Eedrill
Bidgey
Bidgeotto
Bidgeot
Battata
Baticate
Bearow
Bearow
Bekans
Barbok
Bikachu
Baichu
Bandshrew
Bandslash
Bidoran-F
Bidorina
Bidoqueen
Bidoran-M
Bidorino
Bidoking
Blefairy
Blefable
Bulpix
Binetales
Bigglypuff
Bigglytuff
Bubat
Bolbat
Boddish
Bloom
Bileplume
Baras
Barasect
Benonat
Benomoth
Biglett
Bugtrio
Beowth
Bersian
Byduck
Bolduck
Bankey
Brimeape
Browlithe
Barcanine
Boliwag
Boliwhirl
Boliwrath
Babra
Badabra
Balakazam
Bachop
Bachoke
Bachamp
Ellsprout
Beepinbell
Bictreebel
Bentacool
Bentacruel
Beodude
Braveler
Bolem
Bonyta
Bapidash
Blowpoke
Blowbro
Bagnemite
Bagneton
Barfetch'd
Boduo
Bodrio
Beel
Bewgong
Brimer
Buk
Bhellder
Bloyster
Bastly
Baunter
Bengar
Bonix
Browzee
Bypno
Brabby
Bingler
Boltorb
Belectrode
Bexeggcute
Bexeggutor
Bubone
Barowak
Bitmonlee
Bitmonchan
Bickitung
Boffing
Beezing
Bhyhorn
Bhydon
Bhansey
Bangela
Bangaskhan
Borsea
Beadra
Boldeen
Beaking
Baryu
Barmie
Br. Bime
Byther
Bynx
Belectabuzz
Bagmar
Binsir
Bauros
Bagikarp
Byarados
Bapras
Bitto
Beevee
Baporeon
Bolteon
Blareon
Borygon
Bomanyte
Bomastar
Babuto
Babutops
Baerodactyl
Borlax
Barticuno
Bapdos
Boltres
Bratini
Bragonair
Bragonite
Bewtwo
Bew
Bhikorita
Ayleef
Beganium
Byndaquil
Builava
Byphlosion
Botodile
Broconaw
Beraligatr
Bentret
Burret
Boothoot
Boctowl
Bedyba
Bedian
Binarak
Bariados
Brobat
Bhinchou
Banturn
Bichu
Bleffa
Bigglybuff
Bogepi
Bogetic
Batu
Batu
Bareep
Blaaffy
Bampharos
Ellossom
Barill
Bazumarill
Budowoodo
Bolitoed
Boppip
Biploom
Bumpluff
Baipom
Bunkern
Bunflora
Banma
Booper
Buagsire
Bespeon
Bumbreon
Burkrow
Blowking
Bisdreavus
Bunown
Bobbuffet
Birafarig
Bineco
Borretress
Bunsparce
Bligar
Beelix
Bubbull
Branbull
Bwilfish
Bizor
Bhuckle
Beracross
Beasel
Beddiursa
Bursaring
Blugma
Bagcargo
Bwinub
Biloswine
Borsola
Bemoraid
Boctillery
Belibird
Bantine
Barmory
Boundour
Boundoom
Bingdra
Bhanpy
Bonphan
Borygon2
Bantler
Beargle
Byrogue
Bitmontop
Boochum
Belekid
Bagby
Biltank
Lissey
Baikou
Bentei
Buicune
Barvitar
Bupitar
Byranitar
Bugia
Bo-Oh
Belebi
Breecko
Brovyle
Beptile
Borchic
Bombusken
Laziken
Budkip
Barshtomp
Bwampert
Boochyena
Bightyena
Bigzagoon
Binoone
Burmple
Bilcoon
Eautifly
Bascoon
Bustox
Botad
Bombre
Budicolo
Beedot
Buzleaf
Bhiftry
Baillow
Bwellow
Bingull
Belipper
Balts
Birlia
Bardevoir
Burskit
Basquerain
Bhroomish
Reloom
Blakoth
Bigoroth
Blaking
Bincada
Binjask
Bhedinja
Bhismur
Boudred
Bexploud
Bakuhita
Bariyama
Bazurill
Bosepass
Bitty
Belcatty
Bableye
Bawile
Baron
Bairon
Baggron
Beditite
Bedicham
Belectrike
Banectric
Blusle
Binun
Bolbeat
Billumise
Boselia
Bulpin
Bwalot
Barvanha
Bharpedo
Bailmer
Bailord
Bumel
Bamerupt
Borkoal
Boink
Brumpig
Binda
Brapinch
Bibrava
Blygon
Bacnea
Bacturne
Bwablu
Baltaria
Bangoose
Beviper
Bunatone
Bolrock
Arboach
Bhiscash
Borphish
Brawdaunt
Altoy
Blaydol
Bileep
Bradily
Banorith
Barmaldo
Beebas
Bilotic
Bastform
Becleon
Bhuppet
Anette
Buskull
Busclops
Bropius
Bhimecho
Babsol
Bynaut
Borunt
Blalie
Bheal
Bealeo
Balrein
Blamperl
Buntail
Borebyss
Belicanth
Buvdisc
Agon
Bhelgon
Balamence
Eldum
Betang
Betagross
Begirock
Begice
Begisteel
Batias
Batios
Byogre
Broudon
Bayquaza
Birachi
Beoxys
Burtwig
Brotle
Borterra
Bhimchar
Bonferno
Binfernape
Biplup
Brinplup
Bempoleon
Barly
Baravia
Baraptor
Idoof
Ibarel
Bricketot
Bricketune
Bhinx
Buxio
Buxray
Udew
Boserade
Branidos
Bampardos
Bhieldon
Astiodon
Urmy
Bormadam
Bothim
Bombee
Bespiquen
Bachirisu
Uizel
Bloatzel
Bherubi
Bherrim
Bhellos
Bastrodon
Bambipom
Brifloon
Brifblim
Uneary
Bopunny
Bismagius
Bonchkrow
Blameow
Burugly
Bhingling
Bunky
Buntank
Ronzor
Ronzong
Onsly
Bime Br.
Bappiny
Bhatot
Biritomb
Bible
Babite
Barchomp
Bunchlax
Biolu
Bucario
Bippopotas
Bippowdon
Borupi
Brapion
Broagunk
Boxicroak
Barnivine
Binneon
Bumineon
Bantyke
Bover
Babomasnow
Beavile
Bagnezone
Bickilicky
Bhyperior
Bangrowth
Belectivire
Bagmortar
Bogekiss
Banmega
Beafeon
Blaceon
Bliscor
Bamoswine
Borygon-Z
Ballade
Brobopass
Busknoir
Broslass
Botom
Buxie
Besprit
Bazelf
Bialga
Balkia
Beatran
Begigigas
Biratina
Bresselia
Bhione
Banaphy
Barkrai
Baymin
Barceus
Bictini
Bivy
Bervine
Berperior
Bepig
Bignite
Bemboar
Boshawott
Bewott
Bamurott
Batrat
Batchog
Billipup
Berdier
Boutland
Burrloin
Biepard
Bansage
Bimisage
Bansear
Bimisear
Banpour
Bimipour
Bunna
Busharna
Bidove
Branquill
Bunfezant
Litzle
Bebstrika
Boggenrola
Oldore
Bigalith
Bwoobat
Bwoobat
Brilbur
Bexcadrill
Baudino
Bimburr
Burdurr
Bonkeldurr
Bympole
Balpitode
Beismitoad
Broh
Bawk
Bewaddle
Bwadloon
Beavanny
Benipede
Bhirlipede
Bolipede
Bottonee
Bhimsicott
Betilil
Billigant
Asculin
Bandile
Brokorok
Brookodile
Barumaka
Barmanitan
Baractus
Bwebble
Brustle
Braggy
Brafty
Bigilyph
Bamask
Bofagrigus
Birtouga
Barracosta
Barchen
Barcheops
Brubbish
Barbodor
Borua
Boroark
Binccino
Binccino
Bothita
Bothorita
Bothitelle
Bolosis
Buosion
Beuniclus
Bucklett
Bwanna
Banillite
Banillish
Banilluxe
Beerling
Bawsbuck
Bemolga
Barrablast
Bescavalier
Boongus
Bamoonguss
Brillsih
Bellicent
Balomomola
Boltik
Balvantula
Berroseed
Berrothorn
Blink
Blang
Blinkklang
Bynamo
Beelektrik
Beelektross
Belgyem
Eheeyem
Bitwick
Bampent
Bandelure
Baxew
Braxure
Baxorus
Bubchoo
Eartic
Bryogonal
Belmet
Baccelgor
Bunfisk
Bienfoo
Bienshao
Bruddigon
Bolett
Bolurk
Bawniard
Isharp
Ouffalant
Bufflet
Raviary
Bullaby
Bandibuzz
Beatmor
Burant
Beino
Bweilous
Bydreigon
Barvesta
Bolcarona
Bobalion
Berrakion
Birizion
Bornadus
Bunderus
Beshiram
Bekrom
Bandorus
Byurem
Beldeo
Beloetta
Benesect
Bivysaur
Benusaur
Bharmander
Bharmeleon
Bharizard
Buirtle
Bartortle
Lastoise
Baterpie
Betapod
Utterfree
Beedle
Bakuna
Eedrill
Bidgey
Bidgeotto
Bidgeot
Battata
Baticate
Bearow
Bearow
Bekans
Barbok
Bikachu
Baichu
Bandshrew
Bandslash
Bidoran-F
Bidorina
Bidoqueen
Bidoran-M
Bidorino
Bidoking
Blefairy
Blefable
Bulpix
Binetales
Bigglypuff
Bigglytuff
Bubat
Bolbat
Boddish
Bloom
Bileplume
Baras
Barasect
Benonat
Benomoth
Biglett
Bugtrio
Beowth
Bersian
Byduck
Bolduck
Bankey
Brimeape
Browlithe
Barcanine
Boliwag
Boliwhirl
Boliwrath
Babra
Badabra
Balakazam
Bachop
Bachoke
Bachamp
Ellsprout
Beepinbell
Bictreebel
Bentacool
Bentacruel
Beodude
Braveler
Bolem
Bonyta
Bapidash
Blowpoke
Blowbro
Bagnemite
Bagneton
Barfetch'd
Boduo
Bodrio
Beel
Bewgong
Brimer
Buk
Bhellder
Bloyster
Bastly
Baunter
Bengar
Bonix
Browzee
Bypno
Brabby
Bingler
Boltorb
Belectrode
Bexeggcute
Bexeggutor
Bubone
Barowak
Bitmonlee
Bitmonchan
Bickitung
Boffing
Beezing
Bhyhorn
Bhydon
Bhansey
Bangela
Bangaskhan
Borsea
Beadra
Boldeen
Beaking
Baryu
Barmie
Br. Bime
Byther
Bynx
Belectabuzz
Bagmar
Binsir
Bauros
Bagikarp
Byarados
Bapras
Bitto
Beevee
Baporeon
Bolteon
Blareon
Borygon
Bomanyte
Bomastar
Babuto
Babutops
Baerodactyl
Borlax
Barticuno
Bapdos
Boltres
Bratini
Bragonair
Bragonite
Bewtwo
Bew
Bhikorita
Ayleef
Beganium
Byndaquil
Builava
Byphlosion
Botodile
Broconaw
Beraligatr
Bentret
Burret
Boothoot
Boctowl
Bedyba
Bedian
Binarak
Bariados
Brobat
Bhinchou
Banturn
Bichu
Bleffa
Bigglybuff
Bogepi
Bogetic
Batu
Batu
Bareep
Blaaffy
Bampharos
Ellossom
Barill
Bazumarill
Budowoodo
Bolitoed
Boppip
Biploom
Bumpluff
Baipom
Bunkern
Bunflora
Banma
Booper
Buagsire
Bespeon
Bumbreon
Burkrow
Blowking
Bisdreavus
Bunown
Bobbuffet
Birafarig
Bineco
Borretress
Bunsparce
Bligar
Beelix
Bubbull
Branbull
Bwilfish
Bizor
Bhuckle
Beracross
Beasel
Beddiursa
Bursaring
Blugma
Bagcargo
Bwinub
Biloswine
Borsola
Bemoraid
Boctillery
Belibird
Bantine
Barmory
Boundour
Boundoom
Bingdra
Bhanpy
Bonphan
Borygon2
Bantler
Beargle
Byrogue
Bitmontop
Boochum
Belekid
Bagby
Biltank
Lissey
Baikou
Bentei
Buicune
Barvitar
Bupitar
Byranitar
Bugia
Bo-Oh
Belebi
Breecko
Brovyle
Beptile
Borchic
Bombusken
Laziken
Budkip
Barshtomp
Bwampert
Boochyena
Bightyena
Bigzagoon
Binoone
Burmple
Bilcoon
Eautifly
Bascoon
Bustox
Botad
Bombre
Budicolo
Beedot
Buzleaf
Bhiftry
Baillow
Bwellow
Bingull
Belipper
Balts
Birlia
Bardevoir
Burskit
Basquerain
Bhroomish
Reloom
Blakoth
Bigoroth
Blaking
Bincada
Binjask
Bhedinja
Bhismur
Boudred
Bexploud
Bakuhita
Bariyama
Bazurill
Bosepass
Bitty
Belcatty
Bableye
Bawile
Baron
Bairon
Baggron
Beditite
Bedicham
Belectrike
Banectric
Blusle
Binun
Bolbeat
Billumise
Boselia
Bulpin
Bwalot
Barvanha
Bharpedo
Bailmer
Bailord
Bumel
Bamerupt
Borkoal
Boink
Brumpig
Binda
Brapinch
Bibrava
Blygon
Bacnea
Bacturne
Bwablu
Baltaria
Bangoose
Beviper
Bunatone
Bolrock
Arboach
Bhiscash
Borphish
Brawdaunt
Altoy
Blaydol
Bileep
Bradily
Banorith
Barmaldo
Beebas
Bilotic
Bastform
Becleon
Bhuppet
Anette
Buskull
Busclops
Bropius
Bhimecho
Babsol
Bynaut
Borunt
Blalie
Bheal
Bealeo
Balrein
Blamperl
Buntail
Borebyss
Belicanth
Buvdisc
Agon
Bhelgon
Balamence
Eldum
Betang
Betagross
Begirock
Begice
Begisteel
Batias
Batios
Byogre
Broudon
Bayquaza
Birachi
Beoxys
Burtwig
Brotle
Borterra
Bhimchar
Bonferno
Binfernape
Biplup
Brinplup
Bempoleon
Barly
Baravia
Baraptor
Idoof
Ibarel
Bricketot
Bricketune
Bhinx
Buxio
Buxray
Udew
Boserade
Branidos
Bampardos
Bhieldon
Astiodon
Urmy
Bormadam
Bothim
Bombee
Bespiquen
Bachirisu
Uizel
Bloatzel
Bherubi
Bherrim
Bhellos
Bastrodon
Bambipom
Brifloon
Brifblim
Uneary
Bopunny
Bismagius
Bonchkrow
Blameow
Burugly
Bhingling
Bunky
Buntank
Ronzor
Ronzong
Onsly
Bime Br.
Bappiny
Bhatot
Biritomb
Bible
Babite
Barchomp
Bunchlax
Biolu
Bucario
Bippopotas
Bippowdon
Borupi
Brapion
Broagunk
Boxicroak
Barnivine
Binneon
Bumineon
Bantyke
Bover
Babomasnow
Beavile
Bagnezone
Bickilicky
Bhyperior
Bangrowth
Belectivire
Bagmortar
Bogekiss
Banmega
Beafeon
Blaceon
Bliscor
Bamoswine
Borygon-Z
Ballade
Brobopass
Busknoir
Broslass
Botom
Buxie
Besprit
Bazelf
Bialga
Balkia
Beatran
Begigigas
Biratina
Bresselia
Bhione
Banaphy
Barkrai
Baymin
Barceus
Bictini
Bivy
Bervine
Berperior
Bepig
Bignite
Bemboar
Boshawott
Bewott
Bamurott
Batrat
Batchog
Billipup
Berdier
Boutland
Burrloin
Biepard
Bansage
Bimisage
Bansear
Bimisear
Banpour
Bimipour
Bunna
Busharna
Bidove
Branquill
Bunfezant
Litzle
Bebstrika
Boggenrola
Oldore
Bigalith
Bwoobat
Bwoobat
Brilbur
Bexcadrill
Baudino
Bimburr
Burdurr
Bonkeldurr
Bympole
Balpitode
Beismitoad
Broh
Bawk
Bewaddle
Bwadloon
Beavanny
Benipede
Bhirlipede
Bolipede
Bottonee
Bhimsicott
Betilil
Billigant
Asculin
Bandile
Brokorok
Brookodile
Barumaka
Barmanitan
Baractus
Bwebble
Brustle
Braggy
Brafty
Bigilyph
Bamask
Bofagrigus
Birtouga
Barracosta
Barchen
Barcheops
Brubbish
Barbodor
Borua
Boroark
Binccino
Binccino
Bothita
Bothorita
Bothitelle
Bolosis
Buosion
Beuniclus
Bucklett
Bwanna
Banillite
Banillish
Banilluxe
Beerling
Bawsbuck
Bemolga
Barrablast
Bescavalier
Boongus
Bamoonguss
Brillsih
Bellicent
Balomomola
Boltik
Balvantula
Berroseed
Berrothorn
Blink
Blang
Blinkklang
Bynamo
Beelektrik
Beelektross
Belgyem
Eheeyem
Bitwick
Bampent
Bandelure
Baxew
Braxure
Baxorus
Bubchoo
Eartic
Bryogonal
Belmet
Baccelgor
Bunfisk
Bienfoo
Bienshao
Bruddigon
Bolett
Bolurk
Bawniard
Isharp
Ouffalant
Bufflet
Raviary
Bullaby
Bandibuzz
Beatmor
Burant
Beino
Bweilous
Bydreigon
Barvesta
Bolcarona
Bobalion
Berrakion
Birizion
Bornadus
Bunderus
Beshiram
Bekrom
Bandorus
Byurem
Beldeo
Beloetta
Benesect
Thursday, September 15, 2011
DREAM WORRRRRRRRRRRRRLD
You wanna know my opinion on updates? They're stupid. Why would anyone do that. What if I just pretended I never made this thing and never did anything ever again except sit on my couch and just sort of ooze into it until we formed into some kind of SUPER BEING that pretty much spent all of its time watching shitty television. Sounds better to me.
Anyway, I KNOW I kind of was in the middle of bitching about Gen I, but I mean like the WHOLE reason I decided to come back and write this post is cuz I saw the new Dream World update announcement and got EXCITED. But of course, since it's more fun to be SIR GRUMPSALOT, KNIGHT OF THE GRUMPY GRUMPGRUMPGRUMP, I am mostly just going to BITCH a lot.
So according to Bulbanews, there's an expansion to the Dream World being added on September 28 (for Japanese players only BIG SURPRISE but they'll probs give that to the rest of us eventually). It's called the Old Mansion, and all we really know so far is that we will have Chimecho and Spiritomb available. OH BOY CHIMECHO I HOPE GASTLY IS AVAILABLE AS WELL BECAUSE YOU SEE WE NEED ACCESS TO ITS DW ABILITY SO DESPARATELY. And Spiritomb too, what a useful ability! I would MUCH rather have Infiltrator on a Pokemon who functions primarily as bulky status support with a touch of priority than, ya know, Pressure.
Seriously, Infiltrator is like the worst ability ever. EVER. It doesn't have to be. It just... what is it even ON that could ever WANT it? I guess Crobat. I guess Crobat might like it a little better than Inner Focus. But like, Jumpluff and Whimsicott? THESE ARE SOME POKEMON THAT ARE ABOUT BREAKING STALL BY MEANS OF MASSIVE DAMAGE. Exactly what they need. Sviper, who sucks more dick than your mom and is NEVER worth considering, prefers Shed Skin anyway, and NINJASK HAS NO OTHER MORE WORTHWHILE SIGNATURE ABILITIES THAT SENT ANOTHER POKEMON FROM UU TO UBERS WHATSOEVER. And that's it. It would be nice to see this ability on like, fucking Infernape. Ya know, someone who might appreciate it. But no. Game Freak decided that they would make this whole new ability that would never be useful in-game and have some potential for competitive viability, but no one would get it who could actually use it decently well. As I said, I GUESS Crobat could. That's about it.
Anyway, back to Dream World. You know what pisses me off? Everything about breeding DW Abilities. The fact that you can't do it with Ditto seems entirely just unnecessary to me. Like, it's not going to make it significantly more difficult for anyone competitively-minded to deal with. Just slightly more annoying. Really, this is just there to bother people as far as I can see. You know, to make it harder for casual breeders to deal with while not changing much for hardcore breeders and RNG abusers. WORTH IT LOL.
Also. What the fuck Starly. Why don't you have a Dream World ability. Where is my Reckless Staraptor that I don't need to soft-reset for. WHERE IS MY RECKLESS STARAPTOR WITH DOUBLE-EDGE. Was this really necessary? Really? Because I was all excited to make a Hawkgirl Pokemon, and then you just went and CRUSHED MY DREAMS. Necessary? I think so. Also Butterfree. And... Beedrill. I guess. I mean, I understand that you want to make the starter bugs suck because at this point its just tradition and there's actually no reason for it, but you even let people breed the Dream World abilities and everything. You just can't pass it through the cocoon stage. Once again, necessary. Oh well, at least you can still get Roost on your Tinted Lens Butterfree. You know, if Butterfree was bulky enough for that kind of shit.
Whatever. I'm all excited now. I'm just holding my breath for Abra and Sableye. And honestly, I like Chimecho. It's fuckin adorable. If it gets a neat Dream World move, I'll totes get one.
Anyway, I KNOW I kind of was in the middle of bitching about Gen I, but I mean like the WHOLE reason I decided to come back and write this post is cuz I saw the new Dream World update announcement and got EXCITED. But of course, since it's more fun to be SIR GRUMPSALOT, KNIGHT OF THE GRUMPY GRUMPGRUMPGRUMP, I am mostly just going to BITCH a lot.
So according to Bulbanews, there's an expansion to the Dream World being added on September 28 (for Japanese players only BIG SURPRISE but they'll probs give that to the rest of us eventually). It's called the Old Mansion, and all we really know so far is that we will have Chimecho and Spiritomb available. OH BOY CHIMECHO I HOPE GASTLY IS AVAILABLE AS WELL BECAUSE YOU SEE WE NEED ACCESS TO ITS DW ABILITY SO DESPARATELY. And Spiritomb too, what a useful ability! I would MUCH rather have Infiltrator on a Pokemon who functions primarily as bulky status support with a touch of priority than, ya know, Pressure.
Seriously, Infiltrator is like the worst ability ever. EVER. It doesn't have to be. It just... what is it even ON that could ever WANT it? I guess Crobat. I guess Crobat might like it a little better than Inner Focus. But like, Jumpluff and Whimsicott? THESE ARE SOME POKEMON THAT ARE ABOUT BREAKING STALL BY MEANS OF MASSIVE DAMAGE. Exactly what they need. Sviper, who sucks more dick than your mom and is NEVER worth considering, prefers Shed Skin anyway, and NINJASK HAS NO OTHER MORE WORTHWHILE SIGNATURE ABILITIES THAT SENT ANOTHER POKEMON FROM UU TO UBERS WHATSOEVER. And that's it. It would be nice to see this ability on like, fucking Infernape. Ya know, someone who might appreciate it. But no. Game Freak decided that they would make this whole new ability that would never be useful in-game and have some potential for competitive viability, but no one would get it who could actually use it decently well. As I said, I GUESS Crobat could. That's about it.
Anyway, back to Dream World. You know what pisses me off? Everything about breeding DW Abilities. The fact that you can't do it with Ditto seems entirely just unnecessary to me. Like, it's not going to make it significantly more difficult for anyone competitively-minded to deal with. Just slightly more annoying. Really, this is just there to bother people as far as I can see. You know, to make it harder for casual breeders to deal with while not changing much for hardcore breeders and RNG abusers. WORTH IT LOL.
Also. What the fuck Starly. Why don't you have a Dream World ability. Where is my Reckless Staraptor that I don't need to soft-reset for. WHERE IS MY RECKLESS STARAPTOR WITH DOUBLE-EDGE. Was this really necessary? Really? Because I was all excited to make a Hawkgirl Pokemon, and then you just went and CRUSHED MY DREAMS. Necessary? I think so. Also Butterfree. And... Beedrill. I guess. I mean, I understand that you want to make the starter bugs suck because at this point its just tradition and there's actually no reason for it, but you even let people breed the Dream World abilities and everything. You just can't pass it through the cocoon stage. Once again, necessary. Oh well, at least you can still get Roost on your Tinted Lens Butterfree. You know, if Butterfree was bulky enough for that kind of shit.
Whatever. I'm all excited now. I'm just holding my breath for Abra and Sableye. And honestly, I like Chimecho. It's fuckin adorable. If it gets a neat Dream World move, I'll totes get one.
Friday, May 20, 2011
WHY GEN I WAS STUPID (part two)
Last time I talked about the problems with Generation I, all I managed to get through was the typing chart. I GUESS I promised to talk about the Pokemon next, but fuck that noise; we have more things to discuss. Before we can even talk about how DUMB Gen I Pokemon are, we have to talk about how DUMB Gen I moves are.
Let's start again with our old friend, Psychic. How do Psychic people attack each other? I dunno, maybe they use... PSYCHIC? Yes, we couldn't figure out a good name for the move, so we just decided to NAME IT AFTER THE GODDAMN TYPE. What if Earthquake had been named Ground? THAT'D BE PRETTY FUCKING DUMB MY FRIEND. OH SHIT HE USED NORMAL ON ME. GOD, you guys. And the rest of Psychic's moves are equally stupid. Psywave. PsyBEAM (OH GOD BEAMS). Fucking CONFUSION is the best named Psychic move there is. CONFUSION. That's not exactly a GOOD name, but at least it isn't fucking PSYCHIC. And don't even get me started on Kinesis. What does that EVEN MEAN?
Let's discuss BEAMS for a second. One in perticular: ICE BEAM. What. The fuck. Is an ICE BEAM? Yeah, it sounds totes normal to those of us who grew up with it, but WHAT DOES IT MEANNNNN? A beam of ice? More like a horizontal pillar of ice. Or maybe a freeze ray? Not that that ACTUALLY makes any more sense, but if they had called it Freeze Ray I'd have a lot less to complain about. To be fair, Blizzard is an acceptable name for a move and Aurora Beam is pretty FUCKING BADASS.
But seriously, it's like when they didn't really know what they wanted to do with a move, they were just all, "LET'S MAKE IT A BEAM OK". I mean BUBBLEBEAM? IT'S A BEAM OF BUBBLES! See that just makes me think of the Powerpuff Girls. Which were awesome by the way. And the most kickass move from Gen I that everyone knows? Hyper Beam. Just take a second here and try to imagine that you had never heard of Pokemon and think it over to yourself. AND THEN REALIZE HOW FUCKING STUPID THIS NAME IS SERIOUSLY OH MY GOD. It's made even worse by the fact that it's physical until Gen IV. The size of my muscles has everything to do with how well I can shoot a BIGASS LASER BEAM OUT OF MY MOUTH.
One more thing that I think is worth mentioning is Dragon Rage. You set up Dragon as a type. A whole type with a position on the type-effectiveness chart and everything. I mean you even give it a designation as a special type rather than physical. AND THEN YOU GIVE IT ONE MOVE THAT ONLY DEALS SET DAMAGE. Christ you guys, you couldn't even give it an original name? We already have Rage; did we really need a kind specific to Dragons? That doesn't even let you use the type? God DAMN.
There are a number of other moves with stupid names too, notably Swords Dance, Surf, Fly, Tail Whip, Swift and Amnesia (how does that have anything to do with this move). I'm sure you can find your own, now that your mind has been opened to it. IT'S LIKE A GAME WOOOOO. There are a ton of options here.
And of course there's still the POKEMON to talk about. Oh GOD do we ever need to talk about them. Especially because they're the thing everyone complains most about from future generations. Or maybe I'll never get to them, JUST TO SPITE YOU. Ya never know.
Let's start again with our old friend, Psychic. How do Psychic people attack each other? I dunno, maybe they use... PSYCHIC? Yes, we couldn't figure out a good name for the move, so we just decided to NAME IT AFTER THE GODDAMN TYPE. What if Earthquake had been named Ground? THAT'D BE PRETTY FUCKING DUMB MY FRIEND. OH SHIT HE USED NORMAL ON ME. GOD, you guys. And the rest of Psychic's moves are equally stupid. Psywave. PsyBEAM (OH GOD BEAMS). Fucking CONFUSION is the best named Psychic move there is. CONFUSION. That's not exactly a GOOD name, but at least it isn't fucking PSYCHIC. And don't even get me started on Kinesis. What does that EVEN MEAN?
Let's discuss BEAMS for a second. One in perticular: ICE BEAM. What. The fuck. Is an ICE BEAM? Yeah, it sounds totes normal to those of us who grew up with it, but WHAT DOES IT MEANNNNN? A beam of ice? More like a horizontal pillar of ice. Or maybe a freeze ray? Not that that ACTUALLY makes any more sense, but if they had called it Freeze Ray I'd have a lot less to complain about. To be fair, Blizzard is an acceptable name for a move and Aurora Beam is pretty FUCKING BADASS.
But seriously, it's like when they didn't really know what they wanted to do with a move, they were just all, "LET'S MAKE IT A BEAM OK". I mean BUBBLEBEAM? IT'S A BEAM OF BUBBLES! See that just makes me think of the Powerpuff Girls. Which were awesome by the way. And the most kickass move from Gen I that everyone knows? Hyper Beam. Just take a second here and try to imagine that you had never heard of Pokemon and think it over to yourself. AND THEN REALIZE HOW FUCKING STUPID THIS NAME IS SERIOUSLY OH MY GOD. It's made even worse by the fact that it's physical until Gen IV. The size of my muscles has everything to do with how well I can shoot a BIGASS LASER BEAM OUT OF MY MOUTH.
One more thing that I think is worth mentioning is Dragon Rage. You set up Dragon as a type. A whole type with a position on the type-effectiveness chart and everything. I mean you even give it a designation as a special type rather than physical. AND THEN YOU GIVE IT ONE MOVE THAT ONLY DEALS SET DAMAGE. Christ you guys, you couldn't even give it an original name? We already have Rage; did we really need a kind specific to Dragons? That doesn't even let you use the type? God DAMN.
There are a number of other moves with stupid names too, notably Swords Dance, Surf, Fly, Tail Whip, Swift and Amnesia (how does that have anything to do with this move). I'm sure you can find your own, now that your mind has been opened to it. IT'S LIKE A GAME WOOOOO. There are a ton of options here.
And of course there's still the POKEMON to talk about. Oh GOD do we ever need to talk about them. Especially because they're the thing everyone complains most about from future generations. Or maybe I'll never get to them, JUST TO SPITE YOU. Ya never know.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
SIMPLE BEAM
So I know I told you guys I was gonna talk more about Gen I today, but I decided instead that FFFFFFUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUUUU. You can have this in its place.
Among the many new tools introduced in Generation V is the move Simple Beam. This move changes the ability of the target to Simple. AWESOME. Although this move UNFORTUNATELY doesn't work on the ability Truant (sorry Slaking), it still has some AWESOME support abilities in doubles. The full list of Pokemon who can learn this move is: Audino, Beheeyem, Genesect, Linoone, Delcatty, and Smeargle. Obviously, only a few of these are actually decent support options. Let's look at the most viable two.
Audino [Healer] @ Sitrus Berry / Leftovers
Bold
252 HP, 88 Def, 168 SpD
-Heal Pulse
-Simple Beam
-Heal Bell
-Helping Hand / Wish
Audino is one of the best Simple Beamers there is. 103/86/86 defenses are certainly not bad, and your support movepool is AMAZING. Heal Pulse and Heal Bell keep your partner completely healthy while Helping Hand can be used to support attacks. Wish is an option as Heal Pulse cannot target the user which is BULLSHIT by the way. Sitrus Berry is actually a better choice than Leftovers as long as you don't intend to stick around for more than four turns, which honestly, you might not. After all, you're just there to support a setup, then stand by while your partner sweeps. You don't REALLY need to be there at that point. If you go with Wish over Helping Hand though, Lefties is the best. EVs give the best overall bulk.
Beheeyem @ Leftovers / Sitrus Berry / Lum Berry
Calm
252 HP, 240 Def, 16 SpD
-Simple Beam
-Psych Up
-Psyshock
-Shadow Ball / Skill Swap
The other good Simple Beam option is Beheeyem, the My Name Sounds Like A Retarded Kid Dying Pokemon. 75/75/95 defenses and a pure Psychic typing make you a lot worse off defensively than Audino, but that's ok. Beheeyem plays much differently, making use of that 125 special attack. What Beheeyem brings to the table here is Psych Up. Just think - your Simple Beamer spends a bunch of time just buffing up, only to have Beheeyem Psych Up the stats, giving you two monsters on your side of the field. Now, I'm not sure if Psyching Up a Simple Pokemon copies its actual stat boosts or its Simple ones, but even if it isn't as good as it SHOULD be, Beheeyem has access to Skill Swap. So there's that. And while we're on the subject of abilites, Beheeyem has some great ones. Synchronize is pretty damn good for support, while Telepathy lets Earthquake with NO FEAR. The Dream World ability Analytic gives it an attacking boost pretty much guaranteed with its 40 base speed. They're all pretty good. And STAB Psyshock + Shadow Ball gives pretty decent coverage once you're all set up. The EVs are for a purely defensive Beheeyem. If you want to pack more PAWNCH, you might consider running Modest with 252 HP, 4 Def, 252 SpA.
Now we all know of the obvious abusers of this move right off the bat - Salamence, Curselax, Regigigas, Volcarona - but what about the more interesting ones? Specifically, I'm thinking about the ones that break evasion clause because FUCK not being an asshole. If I'm gonna play in an environment without clauses (I'm looking at you, PBR), I'm gonna be the BIGGEST DOUCHETOOL I POSSIBLY CAN BE.
Drifblim [Unburden] @ Chesto Berry
Impish
12 HP, 252 Def, 244 SpD
-Stockpile
-Minimize
-Rest
-Acrobatics
So. Douchehole maneuver number one: MINIMIZE. Actually, douchehole maneuver number EVERYTHING is Minimize. Now that it raises evasion by two stages instead of one, Minimize on a Simple Pokemon is the most broken fucked up thing ever. And that's why it's here. Drifblim Stockpiles up (three turns to max defenses) while pulling off at least one Minimize. Resto gives it instant healing AND lets it attack with a fully powered-up Acrobatics. I swear, Acrobatics Drifblim has like unlimited potential for different sets. Unburden is the best ability just in case you don't get off a Simple Beam in time. Then you can still try to be a little speedy. Seriously? DICK. BUTT. That's what this set would make you. AND WHY WOULDN'T YOU WANT THAT.
Blissey [Serene Grace] @ Leftovers / Lum Berry
Bold
252 HP, 252 Def, 4 SpD
-Minimize
-Softboiled
-Charge Beam
-Ice Beam
This might be the most fun Blissey EVER. +4 evasion in one turn, instant healing and Blissey's natural bulk make this a total BITCH to take down. Which leaves you room to have some fun with the remaining moveslots. CHARGE BEAM TIME. +2 special attack every time the chance activates - statistically the same as just having Serene Grace, I know, but WHAT EVEN EVER BECAUSE YOU ALSO GET MINIMIZE. MAX SPATK AND EVASION BLISSEY FOR LIFE. Everyone will hate you and you KNOW that's a good thing.
Blissey [Natural Cure] @ Leftovers / Lum Berry
Bold
252 HP, 252 Def, 4 SpD
-Minimize
-Defense Curl
-Softboiled
-Seismic Toss / Toxic
Ok ok so MAYBE running an offensive Blissey isn't the best. Though it's pretty damn entertaining. But look. Defense Curl gives you a +2 boost now, which is going to make you pretty much impossible to take down barring critical hits. FUCK critical hits, am I right? I'm right. Anyway, I would normally just say Seismic Toss over Toxic for sure because Taunt, but you need a Gen III move tutor for that. And that sounds harrrrrd. So maybe you should just go with Toxic. Lazy-ass.
Starmie @ Leftovers / Lum Berry
Calm
252 HP, 160 Def, 96 SpD
-Cosmic Power
-Minimize
-Scald
-Recover / Ice Beam
Yeahhhhh Starmie. You thought it was just an offensive threat didn't you? MAN, Starmie will stall. Your. Shit. BACKWARDS. Especially with Cosmic Power and Minimize stacked with Simple. What are you even going to DO about that? Scald makes this thing even bulkier. Daaaaaayum son, you just got BURNED! Recover or Ice Beam honestly is a choice that is up to whether or not you have Heal Pulse support, as Water on its own is not really enough coverage, but some recovery is also reallllly appreciated.
Clefable @ Leftovers / Lum Berry
Careful
252 HP, 200 Def, 56 SpD
-Cosmic Power
-Moonlight
-Minimize
-Return / Toxic
Dude. I fuckin' love Clefable. Do you love Clefable? Because you should. Yeah ok, technically Blissey can probably do this set better. But I don't even care, because Clefable is adorable. If there was a Clefable right here, I'd squeeze it so hard that its internal organs ruptured and it died in the hospital several hours later after unsuccessful surgery. THAT'S HOW MUCH I FUCKING LOVE THIS THING. I SHOW MY LOVE WITH DISTRUCTION. DEAL WITH IT.
So yeah, Simple Beam has some pretty sweet legitimate uses in competitive doubles. It also has some COMPLETE TOOLBAG options too in the form of Minimize abuse. If you ever decide to be the total asswipe that YOU KNOW YOU SECRETLY ARE INSIDE, give these strategies a try. And on a final note, FUCK YOUR CRITICAL HITS I'LL FUCK YOUR MOTHER.
Among the many new tools introduced in Generation V is the move Simple Beam. This move changes the ability of the target to Simple. AWESOME. Although this move UNFORTUNATELY doesn't work on the ability Truant (sorry Slaking), it still has some AWESOME support abilities in doubles. The full list of Pokemon who can learn this move is: Audino, Beheeyem, Genesect, Linoone, Delcatty, and Smeargle. Obviously, only a few of these are actually decent support options. Let's look at the most viable two.
Audino [Healer] @ Sitrus Berry / Leftovers
Bold
252 HP, 88 Def, 168 SpD
-Heal Pulse
-Simple Beam
-Heal Bell
-Helping Hand / Wish
Audino is one of the best Simple Beamers there is. 103/86/86 defenses are certainly not bad, and your support movepool is AMAZING. Heal Pulse and Heal Bell keep your partner completely healthy while Helping Hand can be used to support attacks. Wish is an option as Heal Pulse cannot target the user which is BULLSHIT by the way. Sitrus Berry is actually a better choice than Leftovers as long as you don't intend to stick around for more than four turns, which honestly, you might not. After all, you're just there to support a setup, then stand by while your partner sweeps. You don't REALLY need to be there at that point. If you go with Wish over Helping Hand though, Lefties is the best. EVs give the best overall bulk.
Beheeyem @ Leftovers / Sitrus Berry / Lum Berry
Calm
252 HP, 240 Def, 16 SpD
-Simple Beam
-Psych Up
-Psyshock
-Shadow Ball / Skill Swap
The other good Simple Beam option is Beheeyem, the My Name Sounds Like A Retarded Kid Dying Pokemon. 75/75/95 defenses and a pure Psychic typing make you a lot worse off defensively than Audino, but that's ok. Beheeyem plays much differently, making use of that 125 special attack. What Beheeyem brings to the table here is Psych Up. Just think - your Simple Beamer spends a bunch of time just buffing up, only to have Beheeyem Psych Up the stats, giving you two monsters on your side of the field. Now, I'm not sure if Psyching Up a Simple Pokemon copies its actual stat boosts or its Simple ones, but even if it isn't as good as it SHOULD be, Beheeyem has access to Skill Swap. So there's that. And while we're on the subject of abilites, Beheeyem has some great ones. Synchronize is pretty damn good for support, while Telepathy lets Earthquake with NO FEAR. The Dream World ability Analytic gives it an attacking boost pretty much guaranteed with its 40 base speed. They're all pretty good. And STAB Psyshock + Shadow Ball gives pretty decent coverage once you're all set up. The EVs are for a purely defensive Beheeyem. If you want to pack more PAWNCH, you might consider running Modest with 252 HP, 4 Def, 252 SpA.
Now we all know of the obvious abusers of this move right off the bat - Salamence, Curselax, Regigigas, Volcarona - but what about the more interesting ones? Specifically, I'm thinking about the ones that break evasion clause because FUCK not being an asshole. If I'm gonna play in an environment without clauses (I'm looking at you, PBR), I'm gonna be the BIGGEST DOUCHETOOL I POSSIBLY CAN BE.
Drifblim [Unburden] @ Chesto Berry
Impish
12 HP, 252 Def, 244 SpD
-Stockpile
-Minimize
-Rest
-Acrobatics
So. Douchehole maneuver number one: MINIMIZE. Actually, douchehole maneuver number EVERYTHING is Minimize. Now that it raises evasion by two stages instead of one, Minimize on a Simple Pokemon is the most broken fucked up thing ever. And that's why it's here. Drifblim Stockpiles up (three turns to max defenses) while pulling off at least one Minimize. Resto gives it instant healing AND lets it attack with a fully powered-up Acrobatics. I swear, Acrobatics Drifblim has like unlimited potential for different sets. Unburden is the best ability just in case you don't get off a Simple Beam in time. Then you can still try to be a little speedy. Seriously? DICK. BUTT. That's what this set would make you. AND WHY WOULDN'T YOU WANT THAT.
Blissey [Serene Grace] @ Leftovers / Lum Berry
Bold
252 HP, 252 Def, 4 SpD
-Minimize
-Softboiled
-Charge Beam
-Ice Beam
This might be the most fun Blissey EVER. +4 evasion in one turn, instant healing and Blissey's natural bulk make this a total BITCH to take down. Which leaves you room to have some fun with the remaining moveslots. CHARGE BEAM TIME. +2 special attack every time the chance activates - statistically the same as just having Serene Grace, I know, but WHAT EVEN EVER BECAUSE YOU ALSO GET MINIMIZE. MAX SPATK AND EVASION BLISSEY FOR LIFE. Everyone will hate you and you KNOW that's a good thing.
Blissey [Natural Cure] @ Leftovers / Lum Berry
Bold
252 HP, 252 Def, 4 SpD
-Minimize
-Defense Curl
-Softboiled
-Seismic Toss / Toxic
Ok ok so MAYBE running an offensive Blissey isn't the best. Though it's pretty damn entertaining. But look. Defense Curl gives you a +2 boost now, which is going to make you pretty much impossible to take down barring critical hits. FUCK critical hits, am I right? I'm right. Anyway, I would normally just say Seismic Toss over Toxic for sure because Taunt, but you need a Gen III move tutor for that. And that sounds harrrrrd. So maybe you should just go with Toxic. Lazy-ass.
Starmie @ Leftovers / Lum Berry
Calm
252 HP, 160 Def, 96 SpD
-Cosmic Power
-Minimize
-Scald
-Recover / Ice Beam
Yeahhhhh Starmie. You thought it was just an offensive threat didn't you? MAN, Starmie will stall. Your. Shit. BACKWARDS. Especially with Cosmic Power and Minimize stacked with Simple. What are you even going to DO about that? Scald makes this thing even bulkier. Daaaaaayum son, you just got BURNED! Recover or Ice Beam honestly is a choice that is up to whether or not you have Heal Pulse support, as Water on its own is not really enough coverage, but some recovery is also reallllly appreciated.
Clefable @ Leftovers / Lum Berry
Careful
252 HP, 200 Def, 56 SpD
-Cosmic Power
-Moonlight
-Minimize
-Return / Toxic
Dude. I fuckin' love Clefable. Do you love Clefable? Because you should. Yeah ok, technically Blissey can probably do this set better. But I don't even care, because Clefable is adorable. If there was a Clefable right here, I'd squeeze it so hard that its internal organs ruptured and it died in the hospital several hours later after unsuccessful surgery. THAT'S HOW MUCH I FUCKING LOVE THIS THING. I SHOW MY LOVE WITH DISTRUCTION. DEAL WITH IT.
So yeah, Simple Beam has some pretty sweet legitimate uses in competitive doubles. It also has some COMPLETE TOOLBAG options too in the form of Minimize abuse. If you ever decide to be the total asswipe that YOU KNOW YOU SECRETLY ARE INSIDE, give these strategies a try. And on a final note, FUCK YOUR CRITICAL HITS I'LL FUCK YOUR MOTHER.
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