You wanna know my opinion on updates? They're stupid. Why would anyone do that. What if I just pretended I never made this thing and never did anything ever again except sit on my couch and just sort of ooze into it until we formed into some kind of SUPER BEING that pretty much spent all of its time watching shitty television. Sounds better to me.
Anyway, I KNOW I kind of was in the middle of bitching about Gen I, but I mean like the WHOLE reason I decided to come back and write this post is cuz I saw the new Dream World update announcement and got EXCITED. But of course, since it's more fun to be SIR GRUMPSALOT, KNIGHT OF THE GRUMPY GRUMPGRUMPGRUMP, I am mostly just going to BITCH a lot.
So according to Bulbanews, there's an expansion to the Dream World being added on September 28 (for Japanese players only BIG SURPRISE but they'll probs give that to the rest of us eventually). It's called the Old Mansion, and all we really know so far is that we will have Chimecho and Spiritomb available. OH BOY CHIMECHO I HOPE GASTLY IS AVAILABLE AS WELL BECAUSE YOU SEE WE NEED ACCESS TO ITS DW ABILITY SO DESPARATELY. And Spiritomb too, what a useful ability! I would MUCH rather have Infiltrator on a Pokemon who functions primarily as bulky status support with a touch of priority than, ya know, Pressure.
Seriously, Infiltrator is like the worst ability ever. EVER. It doesn't have to be. It just... what is it even ON that could ever WANT it? I guess Crobat. I guess Crobat might like it a little better than Inner Focus. But like, Jumpluff and Whimsicott? THESE ARE SOME POKEMON THAT ARE ABOUT BREAKING STALL BY MEANS OF MASSIVE DAMAGE. Exactly what they need. Sviper, who sucks more dick than your mom and is NEVER worth considering, prefers Shed Skin anyway, and NINJASK HAS NO OTHER MORE WORTHWHILE SIGNATURE ABILITIES THAT SENT ANOTHER POKEMON FROM UU TO UBERS WHATSOEVER. And that's it. It would be nice to see this ability on like, fucking Infernape. Ya know, someone who might appreciate it. But no. Game Freak decided that they would make this whole new ability that would never be useful in-game and have some potential for competitive viability, but no one would get it who could actually use it decently well. As I said, I GUESS Crobat could. That's about it.
Anyway, back to Dream World. You know what pisses me off? Everything about breeding DW Abilities. The fact that you can't do it with Ditto seems entirely just unnecessary to me. Like, it's not going to make it significantly more difficult for anyone competitively-minded to deal with. Just slightly more annoying. Really, this is just there to bother people as far as I can see. You know, to make it harder for casual breeders to deal with while not changing much for hardcore breeders and RNG abusers. WORTH IT LOL.
Also. What the fuck Starly. Why don't you have a Dream World ability. Where is my Reckless Staraptor that I don't need to soft-reset for. WHERE IS MY RECKLESS STARAPTOR WITH DOUBLE-EDGE. Was this really necessary? Really? Because I was all excited to make a Hawkgirl Pokemon, and then you just went and CRUSHED MY DREAMS. Necessary? I think so. Also Butterfree. And... Beedrill. I guess. I mean, I understand that you want to make the starter bugs suck because at this point its just tradition and there's actually no reason for it, but you even let people breed the Dream World abilities and everything. You just can't pass it through the cocoon stage. Once again, necessary. Oh well, at least you can still get Roost on your Tinted Lens Butterfree. You know, if Butterfree was bulky enough for that kind of shit.
Whatever. I'm all excited now. I'm just holding my breath for Abra and Sableye. And honestly, I like Chimecho. It's fuckin adorable. If it gets a neat Dream World move, I'll totes get one.
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